Interview with General of Afghan Army

Interviewer:
What do you think of Obama’s surge?

General (through translator):

I think it is great idea. We are looking forward to all the weapons and training that the greatest army in the world, yours, will bestow on us. And we relish the day we wage war on the Taliban, and take over the entire country in the name of the Afghan people. There is one thing we can’t do: we will not do it now.

I:

What do you mean? What thing? What won’t you do?

G:

When we, Afghans, fight amongst ourselves, whoever we fight today or tomorrow, we live with tonight or the day after tomorrow. And we have traditions here, certain customs as you say…that must be observed.

Break in interview. Tea and cookies are brought out by the general’s 10 year-old son. The tea is drunk relining on a pillowed rug. Cookies are eaten carefully, so as not to get crumbs on the rug.

I:

Which custom is that?

G:

There are many customs in our country. Some can be followed some of the time, others have to be followed all of the time. Some customs have exceptions to them, some don’t. Some customs are for certain tribes and not others, and other customs apply to all tribes equally. We also have customs for men and for women, and different set of customs for chickens and goats. What USA and Obama want is for us Afghans to fight and to win the fight against each other. You want Afghan Army to defeat Taliban, right?

I:

I think Obama said ”We will support the Afghan government in its campaign to expand government sovereignty over all of Afghanistan” in one of his speeches on the topic.

G:

He is very much correct. To accomplish this we train and develop the Afghan Army to fight and win against the Taliban. And we (if I could speak to your readers for the brave men of our army) will win this fight. But we have one custom in this country we always try to follow: don’t fight too hard with your brother when you must conserve your strength to fight the foreigner. When foreigner leaves, no problem. I hope America gives us good weapons, and body armor. American equipment is the best, superior to Russian or Pakistani.